Apple says new iPhone 5 feature gives life meaning

Apple rocked the gadget world today with the news that the iPhone 5 includes a new feature that gives shape and purpose to previously empty and meaningless lives.

As Apple explained at its launch of the device, the new feature is an improved version of its personal assistant, Siri, that has been endowed with a quality missing from the previous model: empathy.

In a demonstration before a hushed crowd of Apple enthusiasts, an app developer named Josh asked the new Siri, ?Why didn?t my parents love me??

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